Baby Trahan

My Princess is Two!!

2011-10-11T19:58:00.000-07:00

To say that this past year has been amazing, educational, wonderful and exciting, just doesn't seem to cover it all. I have to say that though Layla is the one taking in this new world and learning new things every second, I am learning just as much! Watching her learn and grow has been such an experience for me and I truly believe that there is nothing like this experience as a mother. I feel so blessed to have this little person in my life who can help me to see things through her eyes. She has such an honest and innocent view of the world and sometimes I forget how beautiful and fun everyday things can be. Layla is my daily reminder to enjoy life and to take time to experience things with her not just because I'm there, but because it is the experience together that makes it a worthwhile memory.

I can see that the time that I spend with her and the moments we share are what builds a childhood full of happiness. With every passing year I fall more in love with motherhood!

Ok, down to brass tacks...Layla has completely blossomed into a full on little person in the last few months. Here are the major points...

Language:
There has been an explosion of new words in her vocabulary and she can actually converse with you. She is much easier to understand and takes the time to ensure that I know what she is talking about (lots of hand gestures and when all else fails, she shows me the physical item she is talking about). She still has quite a few words that are part of her own language (not exactly English), but I know what those mean (almost 99% of the time, poor Matt is not so lucky). I spend more time with her than anyone so interpreting her gibberish is a skill I have worked hard to acquire. She knows body parts, colors, numbers, food, and a plethora of other things that would take a year to write. I'm very proud to have such a verbal daughter.

Clothes:
Or lack there of, I should say. Layla has reached that fun stage where she would much rather spend time in her birthday suit than any of the super cute clothes I have bought her. Don't get me wrong, my girly girl really does enjoy an adorable outfit, and believe me, she knows when she looks particularly cute. However, at the end of the day (usually around dinner) she wants nothing more than to strut her stuff in the buff. At least I don't have to worry about her stripping down in public...yet.

Tantrums Are All The Rage:
We have reached that wonderful age where Layla has suddenly realized that she has an opinion and WILL be heard. The tantrums have begun and the time-out mat is getting good use. It's exhausting but unfortunately, it's probably my own fault. That little girl has inherited all of my stubborness and then some! She can throw herself on the floor and kick and scream with the best of them. My love of motherhood is truly tested in these moments, but its nothing a few minutes of deep breathing (on my part) in my closet can't cure :)

All Things Princess:
That pretty much sums it up. Layla has fallen for the Disney princesses. At the moment she is obsessing over Cinderella and Belle. She loves the movies and the books and everything that goes along with princesses; the dresses, jewelry and sparkly goodness! Keeping that in mind, I planned a princess themed birthday party at Gymboree for Layla's 2nd birthday. Of course her presents from us included a princess chair as well. The party was a ton of fun, Layla's friends and cousins were there and the good people at Gymboree keep everything moving so I didn't have to do anything but show up with a cake. It was so much fun to watch Layla revel in a celebration in her honor.

All in all, Layla is doing very well! According to her doctor, we are doing everything right and she is developing into a lovely little girl. I am so proud to have such a smart, outgoing and beautiful daughter, without whom I would certainly find myself completely lost. Matthew and I are two of the luckiest parents in the world...I feel confident that he would agree :)

Making Friends is Hard, Even When You Have an Uber Cute Kid (see picture below)

2011-08-07T19:54:00.000-07:00

They like us! They really like us!

Ok, so I'm not that pathetic, but I was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with Layla and I (or maybe just me, because truthfully, there could never be anything wrong with that sweet girl).

It's not like I don't have friends. I do. I just don't see them much and it's a completely different dynamic now that I'm a mommy...to be expected I suppose. But I was seriously lacking in the Mom-friend department, which directly effected Layla's circle of friends (or lack thereof). All of my mommy-friends unfortunately, happen to live in other states, not ideal for regular play-dates.

So I made it a point in the last year to join a class or two and meet some Seattle moms so that Layla could socialize a bit and I would have the chance to talk to other moms about all of the stuff that comes with kids. There is a LOT and it's so helpful to bounce stuff off of other people who are going through the same things.

I quickly learned that making mom-friends is not like making regular friends. There are a lot of factors to consider when meeting other parents. Do your parenting styles match-up enough to where you won't drive each other crazy? Do you have similar values? Do they care that their child is eating wood chips under the swings? All of these things matter and must be considered before you can decide if you want to hang out. So it's a process, and when you meet initially you spend a lot of time just watching each other interact with your respective offspring and hoping that you're not sitting in a room with some crazies.

Luckily for Layla and I, after doing some scouting, we have found absolutely AMAZING friends that we are getting to know. The kids are all super sweet and well behaved. They all get along really well and have a great time together. It's been especially entertaining to watch them all try to learn each other's names. The moms raising these fabulous kids are equally fabulous and have been so much fun to hang out with. They are also a huge resource of information and are totally empathetic when I have to show up 20 minutes late to hang out because we couldn't find a shoe...

Yay for cool mommies who get my spastic-ness!

The Mean Poop

2011-07-08T16:18:00.000-07:00

Is it possible for a toddler to be maniacal?

Ordinarily, I would say the answer to this question is no...but really, when you review the evidence, I think that may be exactly what they are or at least my toddler is. She even has a cheeky little maniacal laugh to accompany this behavior.

Now, for the most part, I would say that I have the sweetest, most lovable child in the world who wants nothing more than to make her Mommy and Daddy happy (and of course, I am completely biased), but she does enjoy torturing us with her stinky poop!

Layla is getting to the point where she is very interested in the potty (hallelujah!) and therefore, has started to tell us when she is going "poo poo." It's great that she is moving in this direction because I'm so ready to be done with diapers after 22 long months of them and the added joy of changing the diapers of a kid that is completely on solid food. It's a WHOLE other ball game when they get on solid, regular adult food. Let's just say it would be much more enjoyable for everyone involved if it were to go straight into the potty.

However, despite the fact that Layla is going to be potty training very soon, she seems to be taking a little too much enjoyment in seeing her parents change her particularly stinky diapers. She has an evil little laugh that she busts out when she's extra aromatic. She's adorable of course so the evil laugh is quite entertaining!

Now let's hope she doesn't hold this against me out of embarrassment as a teenager :)

One Simple Word

2011-06-23T20:33:00.000-07:00

It is amazing to me that a little person who has spent a mere 20 months in this world has so completely figured me out that she can melt my heart with a single word...

Every night after reading to Layla and rocking her for a few minutes, the last words I utter before laying her down for the night are "I love you." We have had this routine for months, since she was 4 months old to be exact. I love that time with her, just Mommy and Layla, in the quiet, without any distractions, frustrations or stress. I had been so used to never hearing anything in return other than typical baby cooing. Even when she learned to talk, she somehow knew that bedtime was our quiet time and so she never said much. It was simple and I was happy to know that the last words she heard from me before falling asleep each night were "I love you."

About a week ago, Layla and I were on our own for the first time while Matt traveled for work. It was only a couple of days and though I was not looking forward to it, I knew we could manage. I did my best to ensure that our days were very normal so that Layla would not be too upset by Daddy's absence. I, of course, was feeling the stress of having my hubby away and I think my little, intuitive girl picked up on it much more easily than I would have liked. As that first day wound down and we went through our bedtime routine, my mind was elsewhere. Then as I laid her down and told her I loved her, she smiled up at me ever so sweetly and said "too."

I don't think any word will EVER mean so much to me and that is exactly what I love about being a mommy.

Busy Bees on These Lazy Summer Days

2011-06-20T19:59:00.000-07:00

Summer officially begins tomorrow and so many people (mommies, in particular) are looking forward to a summer without schedules, classes and plans. I apparently have not been doing my job throughout the year in ensuring that we had schedules and classes to attend. Honestly, outside of our once a week Kindermusik class, we didn't have any daily activities planned besides the always exciting laundry and cleaning.

So of course now that the warm weather is on it's way (hopefully) and everyone else is taking a break from day to day structure, that's exactly what I'm diving into. Our beloved Kindermusik class has ended until the Fall so we set up an email list with everyone from our class. We are making an effort to have semi-regular outings with the kids. We have also joined a toddler swim class and are going to a weekly story-time at the library in our neighborhood.

If that weren't enough, I am going to make an attempt to get myself in shape. Not exactly an easy task when you have a 20 month old attached to your leg. So in hopes that paying for it and having my cute little girl with me will serve as motivation, I have joined a Mommy Caravan class. It's basically a stroller jogging class for mommies and their little ones.

I'm looking forward to jogging with other out of shape moms and only hope that there are no serious athletes signed up...no one wants to look more pathetic than necessary while working out. In preparation of my new class, we purchased a jogging stroller over the weekend and of course tested it out at Alki. I came away from that experience with the knowledge that jogging strollers are great for jogging, but do nothing to increase my lung capacity...bummer. Ah well, at least Layla enjoys it :)

So here we are with our summer packed full of activities and a trip back to Chicago planned (see a future post, to learn of that inevitable disaster, haha) and I am more than happy to be very busy. Layla certainly seems to be enjoying the activities and kid interaction, or as she would call it "babies!"

Stay-At-Home Irritants

2011-04-05T15:48:00.000-07:00

So I know that because I have chosen to be a stay-at-home mom, my work environment is a little different from those that work outside of the home. Granted, I don't spend every waking moment in my house, I flit about from the grocery store, to Target, to Kindermusik and back to the grocery store, but I would consider my "office" to be my house. I enjoy that I have all of the comforts of home and feel very fortunate as well, it is wonderful...most of the time. However, I have come to realize being home during the day all week long certainly has it's drawbacks.

Let's start with the fact that everyone, including but not limited to; delivery people, lawn maintenance workers and even all those hoodlum teenagers getting off the bus, assume that these houses they are working around, delivering to or walking past, are empty all day long. I am here to tell you - that is NOT the case! Ok, so maybe the teenagers wouldn't care either way (I was one in the not so distant past, so I remember how they operate), but everyone else needs to get a frickin' clue!

Everytime you slam your tools on the ground, yell to your co-workers on the next block or stand there screaming into your cell phone while holding a running leaf blower (less than 10 feet from a row of houses) you are disturbing the stay-at-home moms like myself. Of course, I have inevitably just put down my very irritable toddler for a much needed nap in order to get a few minutes to myself to complete a thought or just get from one side of a room to the other without a small child attached to my leg. So to all those people outside my house, do you have any idea of how obnoxious that is? Or how much self control it takes to keep me from flinging myself out my front door to ram that damn leaf blower down your throat?!

By the way, just a note, leaf blowing in the pouring rain or when the sidewalks have been freshly salted due to ice, is... REALLY NOT NECESSARY!!!!

I digress.

I know this is not just me...any stay-at-home mom with small children would agree, I'm sure of it. But if you don't believe me, go test this theory on a woman who has been watching the Disney channel all morning while doing laundry, cleaning and trying to wrangle a very stubborn 18 month old, I dare you...

Getting back to the point, I understand that it is not your fault that the idiot builder who chose the windows for my home decided to go with absolutely no sound insulation even though these houses are practically on top of one another. I also understand that you are just trying to do your job. All I'm saying is that, when you come into my "office," show some respect and keep it down!

I'm a Wuss at Weaning

2011-02-15T19:59:00.000-08:00

Let's face it, I as a middle child, am completely averse to change. I can own that, however, it is probably not the healthiest thing when it comes to my daughter. Change is a part of life, a good part and no child can grow and learn without change...obviously. So here in lies the problem, I am having trouble with each new milestone that brings Layla further from that tiny newborn who needed me for everything, toward a very independent toddler who wants to explore and do more and more for herself. Of course, that is exactly what is supposed to happen and I want nothing more than to raise a strong, independent woman who can take care of herself...I just don't want it to happen so fast.

This brings me to the subject of weaning. I had originally planned to wean Layla at one year, but when the time came I just didn't feel ready to be done. I know for a fact that I am having more trouble than the average Mommy because this could very well be my only chance at nursing a baby and that bonding experience is second to none. So, I'm a wuss. I have made excuses and pushed back my deadline repeatedly. I know that there is nothing wrong with nursing after a year, as a matter of fact, they now recommend that you nurse to two years of age. My problem is that my darling little girl has a mouth full of very sharp teeth...and she uses them. Though I am not fond of being a chew toy, I have pressed on in hopes of continuing the nursing process as long as possible.

However, the time has come and after several months of eliminating nursing sessions and replacing them with a bottle of whole milk(and slowly eliminating those), I have finally concluded my 16 1/2 month journey of breastfeeding my baby. It was a very sad thing for me and I know that in the days to come it will be sadder still, but it was for the best and hopefully the prevention of a serious injury by my saber-tooth toddler (I also have no desire to be one of those creepy moms that has a six year old climbing under their shirt in the middle of a play date at the park).

Layla of course has taken it all in stride and is completely oblivious to the fact that I have been agonizing over this for months. She simply puts her adorable, chubby hand to my face and smiles, letting me know that all is right in her little world...and that's all I need.

Playing Catch Up

2011-02-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

So clearly time management is not my forte, but is that really a surprise to anyone? So much has happened in the last few months that I hardly know where to begin. The holidays were of course super busy and by "busy" I mean stressful!

Thanksgiving was a quiet affair at home with Layla and Matt which was nice and exactly how I prefer our holidays spent in Seattle. The entire month of December was devoted to preparing for our Christmas celebration here and then travel prep for the actual holiday back home in Chicago. We went overboard on presents for Layla, but I think that is allowed and to be expected when you have one child and she is just so darn cute! She loved all of her presents but nothing that we got her compared to her little pink car that she can "drive" around (which really entails us pushing her). Even now two months later, nothing makes that little girl happier than taking her out to "drive." Of course with all the rain that we get in the winter, sometimes it's hard to find the time to get out, luckily Daddy doesn't mind letting her cruise around the living room and kitchen :)

Our trip back to the snow and frigid temperatures of Illinois was not exactly what I would call relaxing. The stress of travel is something that I thought would improve with Layla's age...sadly that is not the case. Crossing two time zones and changing Layla's surroundings every few days in order to stay with all of our families was disastrous! She had a lot of trouble sleeping and was crabby as a result. Of course it was wonderful to see our family, but making that trip is not as easy as it used to be. I think in the future we will need to stop all of the bouncing around and just stay in one place and go hang out with everyone during the day...shouldn't matter where we sleep anyway, right?! It's just getting too difficult and I certainly won't be able to do that if we have any additional children.

When we arrived back in Seattle, we managed to bring a terrible stomach flu bug with us. I, of course got it first and the worst. I spent several days praying to the porcelain gods before it moved on to Matthew. He was really only seriously sick for one day and then Layla got it. Once we were all feeling better we tried to get back on a normal schedule and headed back to Kindermusik. We started the new session and Layla is now the oldest in her class. She seems to enjoy that and has really come out of her shell. Unfortunately, she also got sick from one of those little drool buckets in class and we spent another week recovering.

Thankfully, everyone is currently well (for the moment) and I am starting to get things done that have been on my to-do list for ages. Next up is the battle with the insurance company. Keep your fingers crossed and stay tuned...

Sure You Can Have a Family...But It'll Cost You.

2010-11-02T13:25:00.000-07:00

It has been a long road and a full year of discussion, but Matthew and I have come to the conclusion that we would like to continue to expand our family. We are so enjoying Layla that we don't want this to be our only opportunity to raise a child. I suppose this decision was inevitable considering that we had originally planned on 4 children. We also want Layla to know the special relationship of siblings. It is something she will not find anywhere else.

The fact that I lost my ability to conceive or carry any more children naturally, is obviously devastating for me, someone who so loved being pregnant. However, I am in the unique position, that I'm young, I still have my ovaries and I have already easily, conceived and given birth to a healthy baby. In the reproductive world this means wonderful things. It means that I can have more biological children fairly easily, assuming we have an appropriate surrogate. This is not the typical scenario for most people facing reproductive challenges.

Our other option is to adopt a child. This is an option that is always available to everyone facing reproductive/fertility problems and it is a wonderful option. However, what people don't realize is that it can be exceptionally costly depending on where you adopt, how you adopt and who you adopt. It's not what I would call easy...

We have been spending a lot of time doing research and weighing our options and during this process, I have learned a lot. I have learned about all of medical and legal aspects, but also about a facet that I never even considered having to deal with...the taboo that is associated with adoption and reproductive assistance. In my humble opinion, the most amazing gift in the world is a child and if these organizations can help bring a child into the lives of those that so want them, then there is nothing better! I just do not understand people that find anything wrong with using the amazing medical technology that we have available to us to conceive or taking in a child that so desperately needs a home. Somehow though, these practices have been slapped with a stigma, that result in quizzical looks, unsupportive mumblings or outright disapproval. What's that about?!

After all of our research and learning that no one option is easier or better than the other, Matt and I have decided that what is best for us, would be to attempt to have another child with the help of a surrogate. So to put it plainly: my egg, Matt's sperm and someone else's oven. With this process we will first need to find the right surrogate(a monumental task in itself) and then I will need to go through IVF treatment to retrieve my eggs in order to make the embryos with Matt's best swimmers and implant them into a surrogate.

Along with all of that, we have the displeasure of dealing with the insurance company. Granted, I will say that when we were dealing with all of my complications from giving birth, I was so very thankful to have good insurance coverage and an insurance company that did not make dealing with all of those bills a nightmare. Matthew and I actually paid very little out of pocket for what ended up costing well over $100,000. However, the loopholes that the insurance company has at it's disposal to avoid covering things such as infertility are ridiculous! Under our plan there is great coverage for many infertility treatments (which, just about anyone could guess, is very costly). The problem is that there are two exceptions, one: if you have been voluntarily sterilized(duh, that is kind of obvious) and two: if you have had a hysterectomy. This is where I have a HUGE problem. As most people familiar with my situation know, my uterus was removed during my c-section as a result of uncontrollable bleeding. The doctor could either remove my uterus or I would have bled to death. It was devastating, but I am very thankful that I am still here.

This is something that is not allowed, according to the insurance company. I have been rejected for coverage. Fortunately, there is an appeals process and I fully intend to appeal this as I feel my situation does not fall under their blanket rule of "no coverage if you've had a hysterectomy." I certainly did not choose this for myself. Here's hoping that they will see how important this is to us and help to make our dream of more children come true. There are good people in the insurance business, right?!

A Year in Review and a Little Mickey Mouse

2010-10-01T20:32:00.000-07:00

I've been struggling to write this post for over a week. That's probably not typical of a parent when thinking of their child's first birthday, but since when was anything about Layla's birth typical?! The past year has been amazing and challenging and heartbreaking.

I have absolutely loved every moment I have spent with Layla. She is so very special and precious. Watching her grow and learn has been amazing! I had no idea the joy that came with mommyhood. I could not ask for a better job! At the same time, being a mom is HARD WORK! I have never appreciated my own mom more! Things are obviously not as difficult as they were last October when I was recovering from surgery and dealing with a brand new baby, but there are new challenges. Every new phase that she goes through brings new learning experiences for Layla, Matthew and I. Raising a child is an ever changing adventure.

At the same time that I am thankful for all of these wonderful experiences that the past year has brought, I have also spent a lot of time thinking about the day she was born. Things just went so terribly wrong and I feel robbed in so many ways. Not only did I lose my ability to ever carry another baby, but I also missed out on so much in the first few hours, days and weeks of Layla's life. I didn't get to hold her after her birth, we didn't get that special time together to bond and I didn't get to care for her the way I desperately wanted to. I find it all very frustrating, even a year later. Another aspect that is frustrating is that after thinking long and hard about our family, Matthew and I agree that we would like to have more children, but it won't come easy or cheap. We will have to jump through incredible hoops and pay more than I could have ever imagined to expand our family. It was a hard pill to swallow and I struggle with that fact every day.

Though these things did happen and it can't be changed, I try not to dwell on it. I am so amazingly thrilled with our life with Layla and and I could not ask for more in my husband and daughter. They are most important to me and my life would simply not be complete without them!

So drama and emotion aside, Layla's first birthday was spectacular! My mom, step-dad and sister and Matt's parents all came out to celebrate with us. On her actual birthday, we had cupcakes and opened some presents. Layla had her first taste of chocolate (and sugar for that matter) and loved it! Then the following weekend we had a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse themed party. It was lots of friends, family and Mickey Mouse! Layla handled it all pretty well considering she was going without a nap...risky business with a child that still REQUIRES two naps a day. She opened her presents and played with the kids and of course there was the cake! Basically, she learned that birthdays = delicious frosting! The whole day was a lot of fun and I was so proud of my little pumpkin. She's just growing up (into a beautiful little person) way too fast!

Kindermusik, It's All the Rage!

2010-10-01T10:30:00.000-07:00

It has definitely been a busy end of Summer and beginning of Fall, but what I've been busy with, I could not tell you because honestly, I've done a whole lot of nothing! Well, of course, besides that whole child-rearing job I've got going on.

Layla is becoming more of toddler and less of a baby every single day and it is hard to keep up, not to mention completely heartbreaking! She is now cruising along furniture and clapping her hands. She also waves at every person and animal that crosses her path. Her blue eyes and long eyelashes draw comments from everyone she meets as well and I think she really likes the attention. She has become somewhat of a picky eater but loves just about every dairy product she is allowed to eat, specifically cheese (she is totally our kid)! Layla has also started saying Dada and for a while that was the only thing she would say (to Matt's delight, I'm sure). We still have not heard even a hint of other words but that's ok, I'm enjoying the time that I have left before I start hearing "no" thrown back at me :)

We recently began attending Kindermusik classes and for those who don't know it is basically just a Mommy and Me class where you sing and dance and act silly with your little one in front of a bunch of other mom's and babies who are singing and dancing and being silly. Layla has never spent much time with other kids her age so it was really fun to watch her interact with a room full of babies. She was pretty shy at first and did not want to get off my lap. She just sat quietly and observed everyone else. As the weeks have gone on she has opened up a bit and tries to pet every kid in the room. She is pretty funny and seems to really enjoy the class. My favorite part of course is where the mom's get to lay down for an entire song and the babies can do there own thing. While all of the other babies are crawling all over the place or attacking each other, my sweet angel just lays her head down on my chest and cuddles, it's too adorable!

The only downside to this new experience for Layla is we have now entered the world of snot-nosed kids. Every week of class has resulted in a new virus for Layla and our family. The first week brought roseola for Layla so she was pretty miserable for a few days with fever and then a rash. Once she was over that, I picked up a cold in class and of course passed it on to Layla. Matt has it now, just in time for his birthday...yay for baby classes!

Other than that all is well with the pumpkin. Her first birthday is right around the corner so I've spent all of my time prepping for the party, but more on that later...

I Swear My Belly Button Moved!

2010-08-09T14:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, so apparently it's like "mom code" that you don't tell first time mom's what to expect, really about anything. It's funny because as soon as you announce your pregnancy, you are bombarded with unwanted advice and horror stories about anything and everything pertaining to your baby and your body. Really though, none of that is helpful and doesn't mean much in the end. In my own (ridiculously insane) experience, the things that matter are never related to you until after it happens and then all of these experienced mom's are like "oh yeah, that happens...sucks doesn't it"...thanks a lot!

Well I have decided that there are just a few things that need to be broken wide open. The most important being...YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME EVER AGAIN! I mean this in every sense of your being. Your body, mind and soul will forever be mutated into something completely different. Of course, this does not pertain to everyone, there are those freak women out there that bounce right back to their pre-baby body and others who really have no emotional connection to their children and therefore are not effected by what happens to them and go on as if they didn't just bring a new life into this world, but those are not the women I speak of.

I knew that I would gain weight going through a pregnancy and of course I knew I could lose it again(I am blessed with a high metabolism), however I did not anticipate that the shape of my body would change, but it certainly did! I've got more hips than I know what to do with and somehow, as a result of my c-section, my BELLY BUTTON MOVED! It has got to be at least half an inch higher than it was originally! I thought I was just crazy until I mentioned it to Matt and he said he noticed that too. Someone want to explain to me how that even happens and why no one told me it could?! I feel like I look completely awkward now, I wonder if there are belly button plastic surgeons out there that can do a belly button relocation for me? But I digress...

Of course I also did not realize how much I would change as a person. It is amazing how fully a child of your own can affect your life. Everyone tells you about how you will learn to multitask and sacrifice for your children, but no one really mentions that this tiny little person is all consuming of your heart and soul and therefore your whole outlook on life changes. Petty things like friend/family drama, what to do with the spare room, or when you'll get around to cleaning out the garage, seem so insignificant. It is all about the baby and making sure that he/she is happy and safe and healthy. Everything else easily takes a backseat to your child. I, of course, am perfectly happy with this and it is a huge comfort to me to know that Matt is as well. I feel very fortunate to have such a loving, wonderful husband, who is an incredibly involved Dad. Yay Matthew!

So though there are changes and things that I was unaware of (some more pleasant than others), as mothers, we take it all in stride, pretty much because we have no choice, but also because it is amazing!

PS Layla is now 10 months old (more on her recent milestones later) and has started the ear piercing, screaming for fun phase...After doing some research on the best way to handle it, I have decided to invest in a good pair of earplugs, the neighbors are SOL!!! :)

Family Roadtrip, Sure! Wait, Are We Driving?

2010-07-31T20:44:00.000-07:00

I had the brilliant idea that Matthew, Layla and I should take our first family vacation to upstate New York to meet up with the rest of my family at my Great Grandma's house. This was of course easier said than done and I should have realized that when I started looking for flights. First of all, we wanted to go around the Fourth of July and all of those flights proved to be very expensive with incredibly inconvenient layovers. The goal was to make the journey from one end of the country to the other as easy on our little pumpkin as possible, however, that was apparently not in the cards for us...

We ended up booking a flight to Chicago and then decided to drive from Chicago to New York with my sister. We were excited at the prospect of a roadtrip included in our vacation and since Layla is such an experienced traveler going back and forth from Seattle to Chicago all the time, we hoped it would not be too bad. The flight to Chicago was a breeze and Layla charmed everyone as she always does. We stayed at Matt's parent's house for two days before driving up to NY. We drove at night thinking she would sleep and it would be no big deal...again, we were very, very wrong! Layla would not go to sleep and when she did, she only slept for short periods. In between, she spent quite a bit of time crying. Matthew was exhausted and not used to the nighttime drive that I have been doing my whole life. All in all, the drive up was not what I would call "pleasant."

Once we arrived at the beautiful Great Sacandaga Lake, we had a blast! Layla went swimming for the first time and we enjoyed beautiful weather and time with family. Matthew and I even got to go out to dinner together for the first time since Layla was born. I was so thrilled to spend time with everyone and see family I haven't seen in a decade! We were also able to get five generations of women in my family together (my great grandmother, my grandmother, my mom, myself and Layla). I'm so happy we had the opportunity!

Of course once we were there, we knew we had to get back. After a week of fun in the sun it was time to hit the road again back to Chicago. This time, we decided it might be better for everyone if we did it in two days and stay overnight in Cleveland (about the halfway point). I will say that though Layla was not thrilled with being strapped in her car seat for hours at a time, she tolerated it a little better and we were all more rested. The stop in Cleveland was welcome and irritating at the same time. We booked a hotel suite with two rooms and a living area, so that Tara could have her own room and Matt, Layla and I could share. It was nice to get there and get settled in the room which involved getting toys out for Layla, eating dinner and setting up her pack n' play to sleep in. We took care of all of that before it got too late and were just about to give Layla a bath when Matt noticed a HUGE wasp on the ceiling. We all ducked for cover while he called the front desk. They sent someone up right away...WITH A CAN OF TOXIC WASP KILLING SPRAY! Yeah, spray that in the same room that my baby is playing on the floor, I'm sure that'll be good for her tiny lungs! IDIOTS! After some arguing and another call to the front desk, Matt and the guy they sent up were able to kill it with a shoe. Yay, crisis averted, right? Not! We took a walk around the room and found dead wasps near all of the windows...this clearly was not going to work for me. I called the front desk again and told them we needed a new room. Luckily they had no trouble with that and even gave us a discount. The unfortunate part was now it was about an hour after Layla's bed time and we had to repack EVERYTHING, move it and then unpack it all again. By this point, I was sooooo over Cleveland...

The next day we got back on the road, much to Layla's dismay, but got back to Chicago in one piece with most of our sanity. The following day we were to get on a plane back to Seattle. By this time, I just wanted to be home. Of course our flight was delayed two and a half hours (because apparently I angered the travel gods at some point and was now going to pay dearly), so by the time we were in the air Layla was running a fever and not well at all. Mid-flight she got sick. All. over. me. I, being the prepared Mommy I am, packed extra clothes for both of us in my carry-on. I got us all changed and she went to sleep. When she woke up about a half hour later I figured she would be feeling better. No such luck. She projectile vomited all over herself and me, again. Then she passed out. I was so done, I just lost it. I was sobbing, covered in puke, holding my sleeping baby while the drunk chick in our row insisted on touching her. I remained that way for the last two hours of the flight. Awesome experience.

We made it home and I survived, thanks to my wonderful husband. Though the vacation itself was lovely, I have vowed never to travel, ever again. Obviously, that is a lot of big talk because we are already talking about our family vacation next year, but for now I take comfort in the fact that I don't have to roam any further than the back yard for at least the next six months if I so choose :)

So Many Milestones, So Little Time to Blog About It

2010-07-24T21:10:00.000-07:00

The summer is flying by and I have yet to accomplish even half of what I set out to do. Layla on the other hand, has been very busy knocking things off of her developmental milestone list. In the last couple of months she has started crawling and eating table food, cut her first tooth, pulling up and walking with help and she said her first word. All of these things seem to happen in spurts but they are coming closer together. It has been quite an adventure for Matthew and I as each new milestone means changes for us...some more welcome than others.

Once Layla became mobile we ran right out to buy baby-proofing supplies to outfit our hazard filled house so that she would be safe. Lesson learned: there is NO SUCH THING as "safe" when it comes to a crawling baby. Gone are the days when we put Layla down and she stayed in one place or even the same general area. If I turn away for a second, she is across the room. Matt and I are vigilant parents and make it a point to be very present when dealing with our child so she never gets far and has not suffered anything more than typical bumps you would expect from a newly mobile baby. However, I will say that we did have one major scare and unfortunately, it was ALL MY FAULT! Long story short, while on vacation in NY (more on that in a future post) I was extremely overtired and distracted and while changing Layla on a bed, I completely lost my head and stepped away from her to answer a ringing phone. Now, I have to stop right here and say that I have ALWAYS said that I cannot understand how stupid parents can be when they leave their children, at any age, unattended. It sickens me when accidents happen that were easily prevented if the parents would just pay attention.

I of course, was forced to eat my words and officially felt like the ABSOLUTE worst parent in the entire world! Layla did take a tumble off the bed and landed on the floor. God must have been watching out for her (since clearly my mind was gone), because thankfully, she went feet down and was not hurt in any way. Not a bump or bruise, nothing! She was scared but that was about it. I, on the other hand, was so far from OK, it took me days to recover and even now, writing about it is giving me anxiety. I ran as fast as my feet have ever carried me, back to her and scooped her up. I checked her out and then could not bring myself to let her go. I cried and sobbed and was pretty much inconsolable. I could not believe I had done that and I felt like the worst parent ever. Luckily, I was surrounded by my wonderful husband and family who all told me that it was just an accident and that Layla was fine. Then, all of the moms in my family told me their own stories of distracted parenting that resulted in a traumatic moment, from accidentally letting their child fall off the couch, to searching the house in vain for the child that they were carrying on their hip, to falling asleep while rocking their baby and waking up to find her hanging an inch from the floor. Apparently, it happens to all of us at some point or another and it just reminds us of just how vigilant we need to be at all times. For the record, I do not even allow the ringers to be on in my house, so leave a message....

In other (and less traumatizing) milestone news, Layla has begun eating table food, though she will not feed herself. If I put it in her mouth she will eat cheese, bread, crackers, cheerios, beans, pasta and potatoes. It has been interesting to watch her explore new foods but at the same time, it makes it that much more difficult for us to eat in front of her. She wants absolutely everything that we have and she does not understand that there are some things her little gums are not ready for, like raw veggies. I only hope that she is still interested when she has the teeth to chew them up :)

Speaking of teeth, the first one has made it's appearance and it's SHARP! Our little chewing angel baby is now a vicious beast with a weapon in her mouth. I would imagine that it does not feel very good and that there are more on the way which is causing all of this ferocious biting but either way...it hurts! She is chewing on anything and everything but apparently Mommy and Daddy taste better. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to this phase being over.

Watching Layla go through all of these changes is exciting but also sad for me. She is growing up so fast and I know that little baby will soon be too busy to let Mommy hold her for hours. I am assuming she senses my sadness and therefore gave me a wonderful memory to treasure forever...her first word, "mama." She has been babbling a lot lately saying "babababaaa" so I assumed that "mama" or "dada" would be soon to follow, I just wasn't sure which would come first. While we were on vacation during bathtime (so luckily Daddy was in the room) she held out her arms to me and said "mama." I was overjoyed and have felt the same way every time she has said it since. She does not say it often yet but I'm sure it will come with time. I am now working on "dada" with her so that Matthew will know that amazing feeling as well!

The good, the bad, the scary and upsetting, the heartwarming and amazing...raising our daughter continues to be an adventure and I wouldn't trade it for the world!

A Day In the Life of A Typical Mom, Or Maybe It's Just Me

2010-06-10T19:46:00.000-07:00

One of the wonderful things about being a stay at home mom is that my job(and it is ABSOLUTELY a job) is never the same. Each day is drastically different from the one before. Of course we do have a routine that we follow(key to survival with children) but nothing is set is stone and the unexpected almost always happens. I had a particularly eventful day this week and it made me wonder if other moms have days like these...

I started the day as I always do bright and early with my little pumpkin. We get up watch cartoons, eat breakfast, get ready for the day and eventually go down for a morning nap. Layla has really got the morning nap down, it usually lasts for an hour or two depending on what time she got up in the morning. I can typically take a shower, get completely ready for the day and do a few chores before she wakes up. On this particular day, for whatever reason, she woke up after a whopping 31 minutes. I of course, was in the middle of my shower when she started crying and I was completely thrown off. I rushed to get done so I could go get her and I think that was pretty much the beginning of the end for me.

From that point on, the rest of the day seemed stressful. I had to go shopping and wanted to get it out of the way but Layla needed to be breastfed before we went, so I hurried to get that done and out the door. I was very proud of the fact that the shopping trip was quick and Layla remained awake in the car and in a good mood. Of course when I got home and put her down on the floor to play, I couldn't help but notice that when I was not holding her and did not have a diaper bag on my shoulder that I felt oddly exposed. I looked down and discovered that in my haste to get out of the house quickly, post-breastfeed, I failed to pull my bra back up and clasp it before jetting off. So, though my shirt covered me completely, I did several laps around Fred Meyer with one milk jug uncapped...awesome. I decided to spend the rest of the day playing on the floor with Layla as she practices crawling(she's very shaky but she can do it), since leaving the house was clearly not a good idea.

I should probably mention at this point that our cat Saber(we have two, a skinny, sweet one - Renegade and a fat, crazy one - Saber) had surgery last week and is currently recovering in our upstairs closet that has been cleaned out and fitted with a baby gate in front of the door. He is wearing the "cone of shame" but has been pretty low maintenance for the most part. I go up and check on him a couple times a day and he has been doing just fine, that is, until now.

I took a break from playing with Layla to run upstairs and close the window in the room that Saber was in because it had started to rain. I left Layla safe and secure playing on the floor in my room where I knew she could not get into anything. As soon as I opened the door to the room we have him quarantined in, the smell of poop smacked me in the face. This distracted me momentarily from the waterfall that was pouring in the window(I was too late anyway). So after I closed the window I went over and looked in the closet where Saber was happily rolling on the floor. Obviously he had pooped in the cat box and left it right on top in all its glory, but I had completely forgotten that because there was blood all over the floor and the box and the "cone of shame" and Saber! I had no idea of what to do! He seemed fine but the closet looked like a scene from a horror movie.

I ran back downstairs and grabbed my phone. Layla was fine on the floor so I ran back upstairs dialing Matthew at work. Of course the second I left the room without acknowledging her, Layla had a screaming fit. So now, I am on the phone with my husband who is at work, looking at a room covered in blood with a fat, happy cat in the middle, while my sweet baby screams like she is in mortal danger. I very quickly and dramatically yelled to Matt that Saber was bleeding and "WHAT DO I DO?! WHAT DO I DO?!" He very calmly began explaining that Saber had probably just opened up a scab and would be just fine and to check to see if he was still bleeding. As I bent down to check him out, he reared up on his hind legs and used his front paws to very smoothly pull off the "cone of shame." WTF! NOW WHAT DO I DO?!!!

Baby still screaming, check! Floor that I'm standing on covered in blood, check! Room still reeking of poop, check! Psycho cat now completely unleashed, check!

After a few seconds of not so deep breathing(it smelled really bad), I got a hold of my senses and sprang into action. Saber was no longer bleeding and was in fact, fine, so I wrestled him to the floor and reattached the "cone" as best I could. Then I ran back downstairs and told Layla "Mommy will be right back," which to her meant jack so she continued to scream. I grabbed a bag and a scooper and ran back up to remove his mountain of poo that he didn't feel like burying and dispose of it. I then ran back downstairs and scooped up my little drama queen who squealed with delight...faker. I collapsed on the floor sweaty, tired, and completely out of breath. Layla could tell I was having a rough day and did her best to comfort me with a spoon to the eye. Thanks pumpkin, Mommy is all better now :)

Worrying Gives You Wrinkles, Smiling Gives You...Wrinkles

2010-06-03T19:51:00.000-07:00

The last several weeks have been packed with activity, worry and joy. I feel like I have been on an emotional roller coaster. To start, I celebrated my first Mother's Day with my wonderful hubby and daughter. Matthew got up with Layla at 6:30am and let me sleep until almost 8:00! He made yummy cinnamon rolls for breakfast and let me take a morning nap (unfortunately I was fighting a migraine all day). We then packed up the kiddo and headed out in the unusually gorgeous weather and had a lovely picnic near the water. Matt also cooked dinner and we had a very relaxing evening together. It was a perfect first Mother's Day, which I think he will live to regret, because now he has to try to keep it up in the years to come :)

Of course you couldn't have all of that wonderful with out some sort of stress and ours came in a very scary form. While getting Layla ready for dinner one night (aka stripping her down to her diaper because she prefers to wear her food before she eats it), Matt noticed a sizable lump on her back. Of course I immediately started thinking of all of the horrible things that it could be, which is never a good thing, and by the time I called the stand-in-doctor(SID - our doctor is still on maternity leave) in the morning my blood pressure must have been off the charts! The SID said that she was pretty sure it was a lipoma(a fatty deposit, that is totally benign), but to be sure she told me to call and schedule an ultrasound to get it checked out. I felt a little better but because she wasn't sure, how could I be?

So I called to schedule the ultrasound as soon as I got home but apparently the month of May is particularly busy with people with weird ailments in radiology at the hospital. Side note - I completely HATED the fact that I had to go back to the hospital where I spent 2 miserable weeks after almost kicking the bucket while having Layla, but then to have the exact same radiologist that I had the day she was born(the guy that informed me she was breech) was just the icing on the cake. He kept looking at me like "do I know you from somewhere? have I seen you before?" Let's just say I was happy to get the heck outta there! Anyway, I had to schedule it a week out so I worried for an entire week, then after they looked at the results, I was finally able to breath a sigh of relief. It is in fact a lipoma(based on what they could see, nothing is 100% unless biopsied) and required no further action. Yay! I could finally relax and destress, which was important as the worry lines are becoming more permanent on my face! I'm only 26!!!

Everything was swell again and we could move on...or so I thought. That of course was until our SID called us and LEFT A MESSAGE, that she was referring us to Children's Hospital to meet with surgeons to see about removing the lipoma. First of all, who leaves that in a voicemail?! Second of all, who leaves that in a voicemail when you are then going to be unavailable for the next 3 days?! I was beyond frustrated and upset. I was under the impression that everything was fine and now you are telling me that my sweet, perfect little baby is going to have to be knocked out and cut open?! Not cool. Oh yeah, not to mention, that this was all playing out a couple of days before we were supposed to head home to Chicago.

We finally were able to talk to the SID and she said that it was not urgent that we get it done, but to schedule an appt for when we returned. Again with the waiting! After being home for just over a week, in the insane Chicago heat, we returned and went to our appt at Children's. The surgeon that we met with was very nice and said that he was pretty sure it was just a lipoma and that there were pros and cons to removing it and leaving it. He basically gave us all of the information and told us it was up to us...great. I was really hoping he would simply say it didn't need to come out and she would be just fine...no such luck. So now Matthew and I have to figure out what we would like to do. It is not an easy decision to make, however we have some time and I am trying not to worry to much.

In doing so, I am making an effort to really enjoy Layla, who is very close to crawling and has recently started pulling up on things. She has decided that she would rather stand than anything else, it is quite the battle to get her to bend her knees anymore. Standing is where it's at, too bad she doesn't have that balance thing down yet. She is incredibly amusing and I have done a lot of smiling. Though at this rate, I'm pretty sure that smile or worry, I am going to be one giant wrinkle by the time I'm 30...kids are stressful!

Summer Fun in the Sun...Body Guard Not Included

2010-05-13T11:17:00.000-07:00

Summer is approaching...finally and that means getting outside and finding fun activities to broaden my little peanut's horizons. She is now 7 months old and by summer's end will be almost 11 months. There is a lot of growth and development to be had in that short time and I want to be sure to expose her to as much of the great outdoors as possible.

The Pacific Northwest is incredibly beautiful during the summer (it has to be otherwise, why on EARTH would anyone want to live here...ever!?) and I want to show Layla the water and the mountains and the beautiful animals that populate the area. It's exciting that sea lions sun bathe on the beach near my house and that whales frequent the Puget Sound waters and I know that Layla would love to see it all (I suppose that means I'm going to have to overcome my insane fear of whales though...hmm). So the goal for the summer is to get out there and explore!

However, here in lies the problem...my neighborhood has become a ridiculous place filled with trouble-making kids and crime. I loved my neighborhood when we moved in, it was built green and is beautifully manicured with parks and playgrounds. I have great neighbors and our house really feels like home. In recent months though, it has come to the point that I no longer feel safe taking my little one for a walk around the block...hell, going to the mailbox is a stressful experience. I am sad that this is what has become of our cute neighborhood and unfortunately means that I will have to venture to other parts of the city to have some summer fun with Layla. That wouldn't be a terrible thing except for the fact that car rides are equivalent to baby downers and she nods off the minute we leave the driveway.

I will persevere though in order to help my little explorer to become one with nature and not cringe at the feel of grass under her toes or cry if she gets a little dirty. I spent the majority of my childhood outside and in my opinion, that's as it should be. I have no desire to perpetuate another generation of couch potatoes, so why not start now. I'll just have to remember all of the necessities: Sunscreen - check! Floppy hat - check! Nutritious snacks - check! Blanket to sit on - check! Bullet proof vest - check! Stun gun - check! All set to go!

Green is Out, Orange is In...Geez Mom!

2010-04-27T20:01:00.000-07:00

I know I say this a lot but, time sure does fly when you have a baby! At Layla's last wellness checkup, (yes, we have reached 6 months already) we learned that she is growing quite well. We were also given the green light to start her on strained foods, yum! As a matter of fact, she has gained very little weight between her 4 month and her 6 month check-ups and in my humble, motherly opinion, my little peanut needed to start on solid foods a little earlier. This may not be true for all babies, but the hard line doctors are drawing at 6 months is a bit much, every kid is different.

But I digress...

So, as per the guidelines given to us by our substitute doctor (our doctor is actually on maternity leave), we started off with orange veggies; carrots, sweet potatoes and squash introducing them one at a time and giving it a few days before introducing something new. Layla was a champion eater and loved everything we gave her. By "loved" I mean she had no reaction at all other than she ate it and wanted more. I couldn't seem to shovel it in fast enough. I definitely think she was not getting enough to eat before we started the solids. However, when it came time to introduce some green vegetables, my little bottomless pit seemed to have finally felt she was getting enough to eat and therefore allowed herself to become picky. My dreams of a child that would eat anything you presented her were dashed with the first spoonful of pureed peas, resulting in a screaming, kicking temper tantrum. I gave it my best to try to get her to eat them, the famous "airplane" technique, telling her how yummy they are, pretending to eat them and really enjoy it, and I even resorted to feeding them to Matthew (I can't eat the stuff myself, I HATE PEAS!). She was having none of it though. I have tried several times since then and she just won't eat peas, she is also not into spinach. I have a few other green veggies I am going to try and I'm hoping she'll like one of them, otherwise I am going to need some good advice on getting your kid to eat things they find absolutely disgusting.

I have attempted to begin introducing fruit as well and that has also had surprising results. Layla wants nothing to do with bananas and will very begrudgingly eat pears. It will be interesting to see what else she likes, but with the way things have been going, I have a feeling this will be an ongoing battle. Perhaps, I can dye all of her food orange??

Watch Out, She Spits!

2010-04-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

"Excuse me, monkey boy! Aqui, over here! Here he comes! And what better way to make your grand entrance on the streets of Agrabah, than riding your very own brand new camel! Watch out, they spit!"

Perhaps Layla should lay off the Disney...

The End of My Pregnancy Journey...

2010-04-05T15:30:00.000-07:00

For most women, pregnancy lasts approximately 9 months, give or take a few weeks to include recovery from childbirth. However, since I never seem to be able to do anything the "normal" way, mine has lasted a whopping 14 months and 24 days, from beginning to end including all appointments and treatment from complications. Last Saturday I officially went off of blood thinning medication that I was taking as a result of the blood clots that I developed following my c-section and partial hysterectomy while giving birth to my beautiful baby girl. It has been an extremely long road filled with more ups and downs than I could count.

This whole roller-coaster began in January of 2009 when I became pregnant. I wouldn't call it a planned pregnancy but we had pulled the goalie, so I guess for all intensive purposes...we were expecting to get pregnant at some point. Luckily for us it was very easy and for the most part the pregnancy was a breeze. Our little baby that we affectionately referred to as "Pinot Grigio" was very healthy and grew at a normal rate and I really had no major issues, save the two trips to the hospital for cramping pain, which we later figured out was an unusual side effect of prenatal yoga (that's what I get for trying to be trendy and work out while pregnant). Towards the end, in my third trimester, I developed high blood pressure but it was by no means dangerously high. I was put on modified bed rest so that we could keep in under control. Ten days before my due date I was diagnosed with preeclampsia and delivered.

All in all though, it is not terribly uncommon for these things to happen and I was very fortunate in that the baby was considered at term and there were no risks to her health in delivering her a little early. Obviously, I did not anticipate the complications that occurred during her delivery and was devastated with the result. Oddly though, as time has passed I have grown to take a great deal of comfort in all of the post-care I needed. It was as though I was not done with the pregnancy process and that made it not hurt quite so badly. Since this is the only pregnancy I will ever experience, it is a little sad to see it go. I know that I have several options for having more children, whether it be through a surrogate or adoption, but as any woman who has bore a child can tell you, there is nothing at all that compares to carrying your baby for those wonderful nine months. I can honestly say that even if I had to go through all of that pain to do it again, I would in a heartbeat. Layla is the most precious, wonderful baby and what I wouldn't give to have so many more!

All woe is me-ing aside (yes, I know that is poorly written, but you get the point), I feel that I have grown as a person through this experience and even though I have moments, sometimes whole days, where I wonder why this happened and where I am supposed to go from here, I am exceptionally happy with my wonderful daughter and the life that my husband and I have created for her. We are so very happy with where we are (especially now that we are all getting more sleep) and are looking forward to watching Layla grow and eventually considering expanding our family.

A Teething Baby is a Dangerous Creature

2010-03-29T11:22:00.000-07:00

Layla is creeping up on six months (half birthday already, yikes!) and has recently begun teething. Typically you don't see any teeth come through until about the seventh month but they take some time to work their way in. As a result of her new found discomfort, Mommy and Daddy have become little more than chew toys. She is a bit more irritable which is to be expected, however I did not anticipate the lack of comfort she would get from the teething rings that we have. Basically, she will put her mouth on anything and everything she can get her hands on, but apparently they are just not as good as our fingers. She gnaws on our knuckles like a ferocious beast and the screams in between make her seem like a ravenous monster!

Luckily for us, none of these impending teeth have come through yet so we have not really been hurt by her incessant chewing, it just gets a bit sore after a while. I will say though that it is pretty funny to watch... :) Our little pumpkin is well on her way to eating solid foods, how does it happen so fast?!

Exersaucer, Yes Please!

2010-03-15T14:19:00.000-07:00

Layla is one active little girl! I can see her frustration at the fact that she can't just get up and go whenever she wants. She has finally got rolling over down to a science and uses it as a way to get around. She does not simply roll back and forth, but continuously to get from one place to another. I swear one of these days she is just going to take off running! Keeping that in mind, Matt and I decided it was time to get her an Exersaucer. For those of you that are not familiar, see the picture and get out of the dark ages...

When we went to pick one out (there are about a million choices), I initially wanted to get something understated and simple. However, Matthew reminded me that the more obnoxious we find a toy to be, the happier it will make Layla. I hated to admit it, but it made sense. So we found the one with the most stuff on it, tons of colors and music and toys. I was slightly concerned that Layla would be over-stimulated in something so busy, but as soon as we put her in it, I knew we had made the right choice. She ever so carefully, explored each part of her new toy and loves it. I love making this little girl happy!

On a more fashionable note, I found a fantastic online store, via Twitter that has the most adorable beanies and headbands. I have had a hard time finding cute things to put on Layla's head that actually stay there. If the Bow Fits to the rescue(@thebowfits)! I bought really cute stuff that she has no complaints about wearing, yay! Who doesn't love giant flowers and bows on their head?!

A First Cold is Not So Hot :(

2010-03-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago Layla and I set out on our very first trip, just the two of us to head home to Chicago for a visit (Matt came about a week later). The flight was definitely a different experience than the one at Christmas. I was dealing with a baby that is two months older and therefore, has a lot more interest in what is going on and gets frustrated with sitting for hours on end much more quickly. All in all though, she was very well behaved and we survived the flight just fine. Of course Layla is such a peach that we had countless strangers stopping by our seat to tell me how adorable she is...like I don't already know :)

It was wonderful to be home visiting my family, however, just before we left Matt and I had accomplished a major goal by getting Layla to sleep through the night. When we arrived home I knew it would be an adjustment period for her especially because it was a new place and Daddy was not around, but I had NO IDEA it would be as difficult as it was. It took Layla over a week to get adjusted to the new surroundings and time zone. I was pretty much on my own because Matt was still in Seattle and my mom was terribly sick with a cold. Then, shortly before Matt arrived, I came down with a cold. Of course I tried my best to keep it from Layla, but it's nearly impossible to keep my distance from her while breastfeeding. By the time we left to head back to Seattle, she had a little cough but I thought she would not get it as badly as I did...I was wrong.

After being home for a day (Layla was very happy to see her crib, btw), her cough got much worse and her nose became a faucet. I have never seen someone look so pathetic, I felt so bad for her, though I'm pretty sure she knows how to work her audience. I have done my very best to comfort her and make her feel better, unfortunately it is a really bad cold that is taking it's sweet time running it's course. She is finally starting to feel a little bit better and was full of smiles today, but she is still wanting to cuddle a lot so I would imagine it will take a few more days. Luckily for me, I am feeling much better and can only hope for the same for Layla very quickly! She was however, very generous and decided to share her cold with Daddy as well...Matt probably has another week of feeling crappy to look forward to :( I think I have managed to deal with the first cold pretty well and though I do not look forward to it, I have a feeling that I will have plenty of snotty noses in my future to deal with, especially once she is socializing with other children. Play groups are really just the place to go to build up your kid's immune system, aren't they? Germ central!

Layla's First Photo Shoot

2010-03-03T20:42:00.000-08:00

We have had another successful shoot with Kevin Wong, our wonderful photographer friend, only this time, what Matt and I did was really of little consequence. The entire shoot depended on Kevin's talent and of course the mood of our little Layla. We had planned a Saturday shoot to get Layla's first professional pictures taken as she was already 4 months old! Luckily, our little peanut woke up in a great mood that day and we even managed a nap before Kevin arrived. We had 3 different outfits picked out and were all set to go. The only concern that I had was keeping her outfits spit-up free until we got some pictures taken in them. Layla is a notorious spitter and is always wearing a bib...not really an option for pictures.

It actually worked out pretty well in that we were able to get shots in all of the outfits and Layla puking on them just dictated when it was time to change clothes and locations. We took pictures in her room and our bedroom. It was really fun and relaxed and we really enjoyed it! Of course they turned out beautifully as I knew they would because Kevin is amazing! Our little girl has become quite the ham and has no shortage of smiles for the camera. We also got some great family photos and I can't wait to get them printed and framed for the house. It was a wonderful day and we're so thrilled to have these photos!

Another Little Layla

2010-03-01T21:37:00.000-08:00

I am relatively new to the world of Twitter and really only use it to keep up on my celebrity gossip, so as a result, the majority of those that I follow are celebrities. However, in the last week my attention has been focused not on what the celebs are up to and the excitement of Hollywood, but rather it has been on a BEAUTIFUL 2 year old little girl from Houston, who shares my daughter's name and is fighting a terrible battle against cancer.

I initially learned about her from one of Kim Kardashian's tweets. I then read Layla Grace's story on her mom Shanna's blog and began following her on Twitter. I can honestly say that I broke down and cried with every new tweet. Here I was, nursing my sweet angel Layla Corinne and watching her peaceful, happy face, so thankful to have a healthy little girl and at the same time, completely heartbroken over Layla Grace's struggle and that of her family. Layla Grace suffers from stage 4 Neuroblastoma. Unfortunately, she is coming to the end of her fight and will soon find her way home, but she has made a huge impact on the world in her very short 2 years. She is such a strong little girl and her family has amazing faith. I could not even begin to imagine what they are going through...all I can do is pray for this sweet baby girl and her family and hold on extra tight to my own little one. I will certainly do my very best to cherish every single moment with my Layla and thank God for this wonderful blessing.

I also took the time to order an adorable tutu from LittleDivaTutus.com for my Layla as a portion of the money goes to Layla Grace. I would encourage you all to take the time to read her story at http://laylagrace.org and go order a tutu for a cute little girl in your life from www.littledivatutus.com to help her family with the enormous medical expenses.

Children are such a blessing and there is something special about little girls...especially the Layla's...

My Daughter Needs a Tip Jar...Apparently

2010-02-09T11:59:00.000-08:00

This past weekend Matt and I started sleep training Layla so that she can sleep in her own crib in her own room. This decision was preceded by our 4 month check-up with our doctor who agreed that now is the time to make the transition, especially since I hadn't been sleeping well over the last few months with her in our bed. I knew it was the right thing to do but, I had no idea how hard it would be emotionally to send our sweet little baby packin' to her own room.

We decided to start on Saturday night because that day she had a photo shoot with Kevin (who did our maternity photos) and I did not want a crabby baby for pictures. That first night was brutal putting her down to sleep all by her lonesome in her crib and leaving the room. She slept for a half and hour and then woke up screaming looking for comfort from Mommy like she is used to getting. We used the "graduated extinction" method where you let your baby cry in timed intervals gradually increasing the time between going in to soothe them. It was a very long rough night with her waking up every hour, however as time went on, the intervals were shorter before she would fall asleep.

All in all, we made it through the night but by morning we were all incredibly sleep deprived and not feeling well. Matt and I decided to spend the day in sweats and not do anything, despite the fact that it was Superbowl Sunday (yay Saints, btw). We did however, go to Panera for lunch, sweats and all and who knew it would be such a lucrative lunch. When we got there I found a table with Layla and Matt ordered our food. As we ate we took turns holding her, as she is simply not satisfied sitting in her carseat anymore when we are out to eat. We talked and Layla smiled and looked adorable (as usual) and as we were finishing up, the woman sitting at the table by herself behind us puts $20 on our table and says that she would like to buy our lunch. I was incredibly confused...did she think we were poor because we were dressed like bums (my iPhone was sitting on the table)? Did she feel bad for us because she thought we were teen parents (a common misconception Matt and I always deal with, we get carded to see R rated movies)? Or was she just trying to do something nice? I told her she did not have to do that and that I could not accept it, however she insisted saying that one look at Layla's big blue eyes and she had to and that I must accept it. She was very insistent so instead of continuing to argue with her, I took the money and will put it towards Layla's college fund (or more realistically, her ever growing wardrobe). It is very nice to know that there are sweet people out there in the world who do generous things for no good reason. I think from now on when we go out in public with Layla, we'll just put a tip jar on the table and see what happens. The kid sure knows how to earn her keep :)

What Would Your Favorite TV Mom Do?

2010-01-20T15:05:00.000-08:00

In my case that would be Lorelai Gilmore, unfortunately my kid is not in high school, nor does she know how to talk, so 10 minutes of witty banter to solve all our problems is really not an option...yet! For now, Layla screams and I do my best to figure out what the problem is. I feel I have her mostly figured out, I know when she's hungry, needs a diaper change or is looking for comfort. Of course she has been known to throw me a curve ball here and there and no matter what I do she does not seem happy. Everyday is a learning experience for both of us. She is getting to know me just as much as I am getting to know her. I am having so much fun with her now that she has out-grown the "baby blob" stage. I find myself completely entertained trying to get smiles and giggles out of her. She is so adorable and it seems to be a consensus among everyone that has spent any time with her, that she smiles with her whole face and it is absolutely priceless. Alright, I've done enough gushing for now(though what parent doesn't gush?).

My poor Matthew is having a little trouble with our bundle of joy these days. She clearly loves him and has so much fun playing with him, but when it comes to being calmed down when she is upset, she does nothing but scream at him. She has apparently grown used to my comforting methods since we spend so much time together, so for now, that is what she wants. Though I must say I do take a slight amount of pride in the fact that our daughter has developed an attachment to me, that is where my enthusiasm ends. The simple fact is, sometimes Mommy needs a break to wash my face, brush my teeth...hell, go to the bathroom! I know it will be short-lived so I am trying enjoy it(without letting it show too much, sorry Hubby) since before long, she will be Daddy's little princess, anxiously awaiting his arrival home from work, just as I did with my Dad:)

I have always hoped to have a very close relationship with my daughter, similar to Lorelai and Rory's (minus the single mom status) on Gilmore Girls and I think we are well on our way to that. I know my relationship with my mom is freakishly close, but that's the way I like it and I look forward to the same with Layla. We'll be having conversations at top speed, filled with obscure pop culture references in no time!

Up next on our ever busy calendar is a visit from Uncle Bobby next week. I'm so excited to see him and I know Layla can't wait to make him hold her awkwardly!

The Magical Third Month

2010-01-06T20:10:00.000-08:00

We have arrived! Layla is now three months old and according to everyone I know who has children, the third month should bring a reprieve from crying for no apparent reason and more importantly, SLEEP! This magical rule states that when a child reaches 3 months or 12 pounds (Layla is currently a hefty 13 pounds 3 oz) they should start getting a little easier to handle and sleep for longer stretches. Granted, Layla is a seemingly happier, more easy going baby these days...well, more so than before, she is full of smiles and squeals of delight. However, the sleep has not come as easily. She is more than happy to sleep for 3-5 hours at a time if she is next to me, but not more than 30 minutes on her own. I am beginning to think that Layla is going to do things her way regardless of what the books or other experienced parents say.

Layla is also talking up a storm these days, of course Matt and I are clueless as to what she is jabbering on about but that doesn't seem to matter to her. As long as we smile and talk back she's a happy camper. She is also incredibly active, she kicks and squirms and stands up with minimal support. I swear she is going to skip right over rolling, crawling and walking and go straight to running!

Layla's first Christmas was also a lot of fun! Matt and I celebrated here with her early and then flew home to Chicago to have Christmas with our families. For all of our nervousness about the flight, she was a perfect angel. When we touched down in Chicago the people in front of us even complimented us on our wonderful baby, they had no idea she was sitting behind them :) Go Layla! She is such a joy to us, and everyday seems to be a new adventure full of new discoveries for her. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Dear Santa, I Would Like Sleep for Christmas this Year.

2009-12-08T13:57:00.000-08:00

It has been an amazing two months of lots of ups and downs and sometimes sideways. Though it is hard for me to believe, Layla is already coming up on 9 weeks old. Last week we went to her 2 month doctor appointment and learned that she is 10lbs 8oz! She has completely outgrown her newborn clothes(which of course required a new wardrobe) and I don't think she'll be in the 0-3 month clothes for long. According to the doctor she is looking great. She is in the 38th percentile for weight, which is a vast improvement over the 9th, which is where she was when she was born. Her height and head measurements are also very proportionate.

All of that good growing aside, she was also due for her very first vaccinations...4 to be exact...the first was oral, and you would think it would have been a piece of cake. Probably would have been too, had Layla not choked on it and stopped breathing briefly (btw, scariest moment of my life!). We had 3 nurses in the room and everyone panicked, luckily Matthew scooped her up and got her breathing again (way to go Dad!).

Then came the dreaded shots. My mom told me when I got pregnant that watching your baby in pain is the most heartbreaking thing you will ever endure and holy cow was she right!! Three shots right in a row and Layla was one unhappy camper. However, she was not alone, Matt and I were also lucky enough to get shots that day as well for the swine flu vaccination. I don't know about Matt, but that stuff just doesn't even phase me anymore after playing a pin cushion in the hospital, and every 2 weeks since for blood work. Speaking of which, I am still on blood thinners, hence the bi-weekly blood work, but I am feeling much better. I am totally off of pain medication, though I still have pain, I am able to get through it on my own.

Other than that, Matt and I have been completely on our own with Layla for over a week now and we are getting the hang of it. Sleep is tough because we found that she sleeps well in our bed but moving her once she is asleep is next to impossible. I'm sure we'll figure it out with time and we are looking forward to the 3 month mark when according to everyone with kids, it starts to get a bit easier.

Watching her grow and learn has been amazing and rewarding and a little sad at the same time. I so wish she would stay a tiny baby for so much longer because it just goes too fast. This is my only chance to do things this way and I want to cherish every moment! She is just the cutest little bug!!!

Learning to Live Again

2009-11-04T19:28:00.000-08:00

The last month has been a blur. I have been working hard on my own physical recovery, learning to be a mom and dealing with the incredible emotional pain of the loss of future pregnancies. The physical recovery is frustrating. I am thrilled to be back at home in my own house, but at the same time there is so much that I want to be able to do that I still am not ready for. I can deal with leaving the housework to Matthew and my mom, but it's very upsetting that I cannot stand long enough to soothe my crying baby. I know it will happen eventually, but tell that to her sweet little face when all she wants is to be bounced around for a few minutes to help her quiet down.

Layla is a wonderful addition to our family and I could not ask for more in a daughter. She is adorable and has a very sweet personality. I see so much of myself and Matthew in her. It is amazing to both of us that she is growing so well and thriving considering how difficult her birth was on me. We feel so very blessed. I am adjusting to the fact that this little person depends on me for everything and having my mom here has been so great! There have been many times that Matt and I just look at each other completely clueless as to what to do next and my mom has been there to guide us or give us a much needed break. Matt returned to work this week and that has not been easy on him or us but I'm sure we will adjust eventually.

The emotional part of recovery has been most difficult for me. I don't know if that would be the case for anyone in my situation or if it's just that I am a relatively non-emotional person and crying on a daily basis is hard. It hits me at the most random times and sometimes for no reason at all. I find that being around pregnant women is very painful as are trips to the doctor where pregnancy is everywhere. I find that I swing from being sad to angry to frustrated and sometimes all three at the same time. It is a hard thing to deal but I know I'll make it through, I would just rather it happen sooner than later. I could not have made it this far without the love and support of our family and friends. I feel so blessed to have these people in our lives and love them all very much.

Here's hoping for continued recovery on all fronts.

The Arrival of Our Beautiful Baby Girl and the Unexpected Complications

2009-10-14T11:58:00.000-07:00

I would like to start off by saying that though I know my typical posts are littered with humor and sarcasm, I feel that I could not adequately express the events of the past week without a great deal of seriousness.

The entire chain of events began last Wednesday, October 7th with our regularly scheduled doctor appointment. We arrived at the appointment and after the normal testing, found that I was in fact suffering from preeclampsia and the doctor wanted me to go for an ultrasound to determine how the baby was doing and if induction should be the next course of action. On the way to the ultrasound, our doctor called and informed us that after the ultrasound she wanted us to go straight to the hospital to be induced. We were excited but also overwhelmed as my bag was still at home.

The ultrasound revealed more news, the baby though very healthy was still breech. She could not be turned so instead of checking in at the hospital for induction it would be for a c-section. This was a little upsetting and scary but I was dealing with it. The doctors in OB assured me that I was a great candidate for a future V-BAC(vaginal birth after cesarean) which was a huge comfort as that is something I truly wanted to experience with future children.

That evening at 5:30 we went to the OR for the delivery. I went through the medication and the c-section with very normal results. We were even joking with the doctors and singing, it was actually fun. At 6:10PM our baby girl, Layla Corinne Trahan, made her appearance and we were overjoyed! She was perfect in every way and I loved her instantly. I saw her very briefly on the way to be checked out by the doctors. They then handed her to Matt and he sat with me for a little while while they worked to finish the surgery. They then told Matt it might take some time and that he could go out and spend time with the baby. About 2 minutes after he left, everything changed. There was a definite turn in the doctor's demeanor and I was starting to get scared. I heard them begin to move faster and call for more blood. More doctors started entering the OR and shortly after that, they said I needed to be prepped for a hysterectomy. I panicked and began to lose it and cry uncontrollably. That is the last thing I remember before I was put out so they could try to save my life. A surgery that typically takes an hour stretched to almost 5 hours. The doctors worked furiously to save me as I hemorrhaged. In the end, I lost 4 liters of blood (over half my blood volume), all of my clotting factor and to my devastation, my uterus.

I woke up at 2AM in the ICU with a tube down my throat, which they removed relatively quickly and the first words out of my mouth were, "did they take my uterus?" Matt told me they did and we both cried. That was probably one of the hardest nights of my life. The next day was a blur of faces coming to see me in the ICU, Matt and doctors and Matt's family as I drifted in and out of consciousness. They asked me regularly if I wanted the baby but I was not ready to face her, I was so out of it and really could not carry a coherent thought. The next day I was moved up to the Postpartum unit and the baby moved in with me. I was still too weak to hold her so for almost two days I just looked at her. Both my parents flew out immediately along with Matt's parents and siblings. It was so helpful to have them there.

Physically, I had a lot of recovering to do and I was not even ready to deal with the emotional part. I began improving relatively quickly but several days in I had pain in my back and some trouble drawing a deep breath, it eventually went away and I forgot about it. Matt and my mom took turns sleeping at the hospital with me and Layla was discharged from the hospital on Sunday, October 11th. She still stayed with me during the day but I sent her home at night so I could sleep, which was torture as I had started to hold her and didn't want to be away from her.

Then on Monday, October 12th I was hit with more rough news. After a CT scan to determine the source of mild fevers I had been having, they found that I had 3 blood clots from the surgery, one near my right ovary, another in a major vein in my belly and a third thrown from the second, in my lung(the source of my back pain from a few days prior). This was a scary and frustrating diagnosis that sent me back to the ICU. Luckily they placed me on lots of medication to thin my blood and help the problem and I only spent a full day in the ICU before I was moved back up to postpartum yesterday.

Things are improving now and I am supposed to be in the hospital for another 4 or 5 days just to ensure that they get my blood thinning medication right before they send me home. I am feeling better but I still have a long way to go before I am well. In addition to the physical issues, I am now starting to deal with the emotional aspects(not by choice of course as I would hope to remain strong and never think about it, however, it is just not possible).

I never anticipated this is how my pregnancy, which was relatively smooth, would end up. I am absolutely beyond devastated at the loss of my uterus at the age of 25 and am trying to figure out how I will deal with that. I have always wanted many children and looked forward to future pregnancies. Regardless of how many options I may have, I feel that a grieving period is necessary to try to move forward. I do however, feel so so so so fortunate not only to be alive, but also to have a beautiful baby girl who is perfect in every way. I was told by every doctor involved that the typical person would not survive what I went through. It as been quite a ride and I look forward to being at home with my new family.

I would like to thank all of my family and wonderful friends for their well wishes, prayers and concern. I look forward to being able to see everyone at some point and we are still planning a trip home to Chicago for Christmas as well. I feel so fortunate to have such great doctors and to be here to tell the story. I hope that you all will forgive me for not being able to communicate as I try to recover. I love you all and look forward to sending lots of pictures.
<3 CT

Nothing But a Waiting Game Now

2009-10-04T09:18:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe we have come so far! We have just hit the 38 week mark and are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our daughter. We are now going to weekly doctor appointments and can't wait for some new developments. I have started having contractions much more often. They come on pretty strong at night and last for hours at a time, however they have yet to become intensely painful or at any sort of regular interval. I am also having them during the day but with less frequency.

Matthew and I are hopeful that this means my body is preparing for delivery in the near future. I am still 13 days from my due date, but we are both hoping that she will make her appearance before then. We are so ready to meet our little one and are excited about moving on to the next step in our lives. At the same time we are doing our very best to enjoy every moment that we have left as just the two of us.

This weekend we celebrated Matt's birthday. We started off by having some friends over on Friday and then had dinner out at one of our favorite places on Saturday night. Unfortunately, Matt ended up having to work for part of the day but it allowed me to take the time to nap (they are so important these days as I am constantly exhausted). It was a wonderful time out and we're now feeling very ready to become a family of 3.

We are back at the doctor this week and are hoping things continue to progress as the waiting is a torturous process!

Doctor Says Relax...Much Like Frankie

2009-09-14T15:06:00.001-07:00

At my last two doctor appointments my blood pressure has registered as elevated. Afte the last appointment, our doctor advised me to go on modified bed rest. This is not a terrible thing and I could see most people welcoming the break. Unlike full-on bed rest, I can still move around and even go out sometimes. I am just instructed to lay off the house work and errands and stay kind of quiet, as my doctor put it, "lay low." I'm doing my best, but for someone that is always on the go, it's not easy. Add to that the fact that we live in a 3 story house and I spend my days running up and down stairs also does not help. Matthew has been wonderful as usual, running all over the place for me and even making that third trip up the stairs when I've forgotten yet something else that I absolutely must have :)

Other than that, things are going well. Our little girl is very strong, though I fear she may be attempting to make her exit through my belly button. She spends a significant part of each day trying to push her way out through the middle of my abdomen leaving me looking very misshapen. It is definitely not comfortable though I don't think she is all that concerned with my comfort level. Sleep is as elusive as ever, but honestly I think that's just as well, since in a few weeks time I can kiss it goodbye altogether. This is just good practice I suppose.

Matt and I are getting very excited to meet our little one and spend a lot of time talking about what it will be like when she is finally here. We are also finishing up all of the prep work we have to get done. Matthew is a trooper, knocking things off the "D Day" list all the time. We are also making it a point to try to do lots of fun things and enjoy our last few weeks as a childless couple. We are most excited about the Pearl Jam concerts (yes that is plural) we'll be going to next week! We are going to two nights of shows back to back and can't wait. We haven't seen them in 3 years! It should be a good time and I figure as long as I spend those days doing nothing and sit through most of it, I should be fine.

We have another doctor appointment in about a week and from there we are down to weekly appointments to check my cervix for changes! So exciting, and it's going sooo fast! We'll be parents before we know it!

Maternity Photo Shoot

2009-08-21T15:38:00.000-07:00

Last weekend Matt and I did a maternity photo shoot with our friend and amazing photographer, Kevin Wong. We started off at our house and then moved down to Alki Beach here in West Seattle to finish up. The whole shoot was a lot of fun and we both felt very comfortable. We got the pictures back and could not be happier with the result. The pictures turned out really well and were exactly what we had hoped for. It definitely feels like we captured this time in our lives in an amazing way. Granted, I was feeling extremely large and I was very concerned about double chins and love handles, but I feel like we avoided photographing those unfortunate side effects of pregnancy. Yay!

I have been growing at an astounding rate these days as well. I tried to put on a pair of pants this morning that I wore LAST WEEK just to find out that they no longer fit. I suppose that is something I'll have to get used to for the next two months. Our little peanut certainly is taking up a lot of space. I'm pretty sure that she is still head up as she likes to push it out, which is not terribly comfortable. Matt and I are going to make a concerted effort to go for regular walks in the next two months to help coerce her into the head down position in time for delivery.

We have also attended a couple of childbirth prep classes in the last few weeks and though I feel pretty well educated already, I have picked up some important information on breathing tactics as well as the medication options available during labor. As crazy as people may think I am, the more I learn about these medications, the more I would prefer to have a natural delivery. Matt and I agree that our birth plan will be flexible should I change my mind or that we require medical intervention, however, I am going to do my very best to do this without the help of medication. I don't think that people realize that every woman's birth experience is different and though there is always an EXTREME amount of pain involved, there are plenty of women out there that can make it through on their own. The only frustrating thing is that anytime you tell anyone that you hope to have natural delivery, they launch into every horror story of labor they know of...as if that is supposed to make me feel better...where's the support people??!!

Sugar is Bad, and Yet Oh So Good!!!

2009-08-06T09:39:00.000-07:00

We went this week for our regular doctor's appointment with the added fun of a glucose test to screen for gestational diabetes and a RhoGAM shot (in the butt, ouch!). We arrived and were sent directly to the lab to get a glucose drink, basically sugar in a 10 oz bottle that is fruit punch flavored. You get 5 min to drink the whole thing and then must wait an hour. It really is disgusting stuff! I was pretty light headed and nauseous after chugging it, not something I would recommend first thing in the morning...

We went through our normal exam while we waited and our doctor found that my uterus was measuring a bit small for 29 weeks. She said that to be sure the baby was developing properly, she would send us over for an ultrasound. I then got the horrible RhoGAM shot which is required if you have a negative blood type (had some trouble walking for the rest of the day, though Matthew found it utterly hysterical). I have another one to look forward to when the baby is born as well, yay!

After waiting out the rest of the hour I had my blood drawn for the glucose test and hope to find out the results soon. If I do not pass the one hour test, I have to go back to do the 3 hour test, which consists of 3 disgusting sugar drinks and waiting around for 3 hours, trying not to throw up...here's hoping I pass!

We then went directly across town to our impromptu utlrasound. It was wonderful to see our little peanut! She is getting so big and has absolutely beautiful features from what I could tell, though I may be biased :) We were also offered a 3D picture of her, however our ever stubborn daughter would not cooperate. She kept covering her face with her hands making it impossible for the tech to get a good picture where she didn't resemble a mutant. So although we didn't get a 3D picture we did learn that she is healthy and growing just fine. She is a little bit small, but let's face it, Matt and I are not big people and I doubt I am destined for those crazy 12lb babies. She is however weighing in within normal range at 2lbs 14oz and my uterus measured small because she was folded in half in the breach position at the time. It was exciting to see her, as always, and we are really looking forward to meeting her in a few short months!

It's Hot, Hot, Hot in Seattle and it Makes for One Uncomfortable Pregnant Cori!

2009-07-27T20:31:00.001-07:00

We have had and will continue to have for the next week, record heat in Seattle. Not so good when you're packing 20 extra pounds and another human being inside your body. I have had quite a bit of trouble sleeping, even when Matt is all covered up, I'm finding myself sticky and uncomfortable. Today was the start of the really hot weather they were predicting. The temperature reached 95, though I assume the heat index was well over 100. I know that I, as a Chicago girl who grew up in a house with no A/C should be completely used to this but I have become somewhat of a weather wuss in the 3 years I've lived here....oh yeah, and the pregnant me has zero tolerance for heat!

I must say though that I am also extremely fortunate! Matthew and I live next door to two of the most generous people I have ever met. Our neighbors are suffering right along with the rest of Seattle in this heat with no A/C and yet tonight they brought over an air conditioning unit that they had in storage for us to use. It is the nicest thing I could imagine! I know that I will finally be able to sleep tonight (at least between trips to the bathroom) and I won't need to go wander a store aimlessly tomorrow just to get out of the house. I couldn't be more grateful!

Two Very Scary Rounds at the Hospital

2009-07-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

Round 1:
At the start of the 4th of July holiday weekend Matt and I both suffered from a case of food poisoning. The following day, I woke up feeling much better but about half way through the day I started to experience a pretty bad pain on my left side. I chalked it up to gas from the food poisoning, however soon came to realize that it might be something else. By 10pm I was in agony (or so I thought). A quick call to the doctor and we decided it was a good idea to get it checked out. We went to OB triage in the hospital that we will deliver at in October and they ran a battery of tests. They came to the conclusion that it was either a case of gastroenteritis or .... kidney stones!
Duh! that's when the lightbulb went off...I have kidney stones. They were found when I had a CT scan 3 years ago for unrelated reasons. I have never passed them. Once I filled them in on my lurking condition they decided that must be what it was and prescribed Percocet and sent me on my way since the baby was doing just fine. It was a long night but by the time we left the hospital at 5:30am, I was feeling better.
Round 2:
The entire week after the first episode of pain, I was feeling great. Went back to my normal routine and even attended yoga, all was good. Then on Saturday I woke up to some odd discomfort that I could not really place. I didn't think much of it as it was not really pain. Then in the afternoon, I laid down to rest and the pain started. It hit me like a ton of bricks in a matter of minutes, this time on the right side radiating down from where my kidney lives. Matt came in and I was writhing in pain. We quickly called the doctor and she told us to head back to OB Triage immediately!
We made it to the car and by the time we left the neighborhood I was in tears. Half way to the hospital and the contractions started. They were incredibly intense and that coupled with the kidney pain, I thought I wouldn't make it. We arrived at the hospital and I was wheeled upstairs and they began working on the tests and trying to get it figured out. I was in so much pain all I could do was try to focus on my breathing. Eventually they got an IV in and delivered some much needed pain medication that stopped the contractions. It had little to no effect on the kidney pain but I could deal a little better. They ran the same battery of tests and came up with same results, couldn't see the stones but are assuming that's what it is. They were very concerned and did find a bit of an infection which required some antibiotics. Luckily, again, even with all of the contracting, the baby is doing just fine. The pain this time was something I could not imagine having to experience again. The doctors and nurses told me that what I experienced was much worse than childbirth pain so I should be good to go when the time comes to deliver.

So I am still recovering from all of that, but I am feeling better and our girl is doing just fine (huge relief). After talking to my mom I learned that gallstones are hereditary in my family (many of the women in my family have had their gallbladder removed). That could explain all of my symptoms as well as why they were unable to see any kidney stones, but who knows! We'll see how it goes, but I'm hopeful that I've seen the last of this. I have enough to worry about with pregnancy...

Pregnancy + Relaxing Vacation = Perfect Combination

2009-06-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

We returned this week from the most wonderful trip I have ever taken! Our goal was not to plan to do too much so that we could focus on relaxing in the sun. We definitely accomplished that, but at the same time never found ourselves bored. We spent time by the pool (where I got sunburned like you would not believe...which was not part of the plan) enjoying some fruity drinks, all virgin for me of course. We took an entire day to hang out on the beach, where I hid under a cabana to tend to my horrible burn. Matt enjoyed the ocean though and did a lot of swimming. Speaking of swimming, that is the most wonderful cure for an aching pregnant body...someone should really spread that around. I felt fantastic in the pool!

We also did a day at the spa and had some very romantic meals. I felt so fortunate that we were able to take the time to spend together as I see that being hard to come by next year :) There was a lot of walking, especially on the shopping days which was not easy in the heat and the sun. As a result, I experienced my first contractions. Not exactly what I would call fun, and everything that I've read about Braxton-Hicks that say they are usually painless or cause mild discomfort, is complete crap in my case! I only had two and they were at opposite ends of the day but man did they hurt! I would imagine that they resulted from a lack of hydration (I know, not the brightest on my part) but once I got some fluids, I felt much better and am happy to report I have not felt a single one since. Our little bun has also remained extremely active which is a huge comfort to me (even though she enjoys keeping me awake at all hours with her break-dancing on my bladder).

All in all it was a fantastic trip and I would go again anytime! Matthew and I had a ton of fun though we are so ready to continue our baby prep. I will be starting prenatal yoga in the coming weeks and we have another doctor appointment next week. We will also be signing up for baby-prep classes soon which is all very exciting! Time is flying by!

Our Babymoon

2009-06-10T10:15:00.000-07:00

Matthew and I will be headed out on our "babymoon" which will also serve as a second honeymoon for us. We are going to Maui for a week since it will probably be our last chance for a vacation for a VERY long time. I am so looking forward to spending seven days doing nothing but laying on a beach and catching some rays. Neither of us has ever been to Hawaii and it will be an excellent way to spend our 1st wedding anniversary. I honestly could not ask for a better husband!

On the baby front, I am growing bigger everyday, but have continued to carry very low... my mom and I have joked that the baby won't have far to go to come out because she is already sitting on my pelvis. She is moving all the time, particularly at night when I'm trying to sleep, of course. I love every minute of it though. It's also fun to see what makes her more active, ice cream seems to be a favorite...she is definitely taking after me :) I am incredibly entertained watching my belly move with her. Her movements are really packing a punch now, even Matt was surprised at the strength behind her kicks, he's convinced she will be a star kickball player!

Here's hoping we have nothing but a relaxing trip! ~Aloha~

Survey Says....It's a GIRL! Oh yeah, so do the experts...

2009-05-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

Here we are at 20 weeks, the half-way point and we are more excited than ever! Yesterday we went in for our second ultrasound and learned that we are indeed having a girl, however, this information did not come easily.

Upon arrival at the ultrasound office, my bladder extremely full, therefore making me EXTREMELY uncomfortable, we checked in and were told that we did not have an appointment. I knew this had to be a mistake because my doctor's office had made the appointment and I was holding the appointment sheet in my hand at the time. After some digging we learned that my doctor's office never faxed the order for the ultrasound to their office. I was not happy to say the least, not only because I was standing around with my legs crossed trying not to let on that I may not make it through the conversation, but also because I had been looking forward to the appointment for a month and the chance to find out the gender of our baby! Luckily and due to some very helpful people in their office, they were able to squeeze us in, yay!

Thinking it would be smooth sailing from that point, enter our stubborn child...From the very first image that came up I could tell this would be no easy task, she was standing on her head and facing towards me, not exactly an ideal position for finding out gender, let alone looking at much else. However, I was able to do some bouncing around on the table and they brought in an ultrasound tech and a radiologist and with the three of us working very hard, we were able to look at every part of our little one and see that she is growing and functioning normally. They also were able to determine that she is in fact a girl, let's just hope their judgement is accurate as I already ran out to buy some cute girlie stuff :) All in all, it was a wonderful experience and we are sooo thrilled to be having a daughter. I am so very excited!

What we affectionately call "The Baby's Suite"

2009-05-18T12:08:00.000-07:00

This weekend Matt and I finally wrapped up our first baby project, aka the nursery. It turned out really well and we're very happy with it. However, we have come to realize that it is actually nicer than our own room. We got all of the furniture in and set up, finished the paint touch-ups and put away the clothes and blankets that we have. We only have a couple things to add, like a few shelves and some decorative items for the wall. It's so nice to finally have a place to put everything pertaining to the baby. It was beginning to take over the whole house, though I have a feeling that it's inevitable when you have kids. For the time being we just have a house full of cardboard and styrofoam from all of the furniture and accessory unpacking.

Of course I feel much better having gotten it all ready, but at the same time we realize how much stuff we still need. Luckily we still have plenty of time, even though the days seem to be flying by. We are now less than two weeks from the halfway point in the pregnancy. We also have our ultrasound coming up and are very hopeful that we will find out the gender of the baby :)

New Milestones Every Week it Seems

2009-04-30T08:35:00.000-07:00

About a week ago I felt the first baby movement. It was very faint and I had to concentrate very hard to make sure that what I was feeling was actually movement and not gas or other tummy grumblings. Sure enough though, it was not my stomach at all, but much lower and a fluttering I have never felt before. It did not last very long nor have I felt much since (only a couple of times) but it was very exciting and I look forward to more!

Our doctor's appointment this week also brought some excitement for us as we got to listen to the baby's heartbeat for the first time. We had seen it during our first ultrasound several weeks ago, however we had not heard it yet. The whole process actually made me a little nervous because it took my doctor a little while to find where the baby was hiding. She did find our little one though and he/she had a perfect heart rate of 163. It was interesting to listen to the baby's heartbeat over mine since it was so fast, mine sounded like it was beating at a snail's pace in comparison.

We've only got about a month to go and we will hopefully be able to find out the baby's gender :)

A Baby Shower and Elastic in my Pants

2009-04-20T07:20:00.000-07:00

Just over a week ago, Matthew and I traveled back home to Chicago to visit with family, celebrate Easter and spend some pregnancy time at home (the pregnancy time is really more me than Matt). We got to see my brother Walter who was home from Iraq, whom I have not seen in over 3 1/2 years and I had the opportunity to show off my baby bump that is quickly becoming a hill. Matt left to go back to work in Seattle after 3 days and I have remained since I will not be home again until after the baby is born.

This past Saturday, my mom and sister, Tara, hosted a baby shower which was a lot of fun. It was nice to see family and friends and to talk babies with people who have lots of experience. We received lots of very cute gifts and have several items headed directly to Seattle for us. All of this adorable baby stuff is making me very excited for our little one to arrive. I am also looking forward to finding out the baby's gender as that was a big topic of conversation. Apparently "mother's intuition" is worthless since just about everyone at the party was wrong about the gender of at least one of their children. We'll see how this goes, I have been feeling "girl" for quite some time now.

I have also passed another major milestone this week(at 14 weeks) with the loss of my jeans. I am carrying the baby so low that my regular pants just weren't cutting it anymore. Matt of course was very excited about this as he could not wait for me to get the jeans with elastic in them...not sure why, but everyone has their own pregnancy excitement I suppose. I however, was not so thrilled. I have always been VERY particular about the jeans that I buy and it has come to my attention in shopping for maternity jeans that they are not made for skinny people. Yes, that may sound ridiculous, but in actuality not everyone gains weight everywhere on their body, nor do they start out heavy to begin with. So, though I may need some give at the waistband, I don't require any extra room elsewhere. In all of my shopping, I have found that I am a size 2 or XS in maternity jeans and they are hard to come by. They are also very expensive. Frustrating...but I can get over myself for the sake of the baby, definitely worth it. I did manage to buy one pair of jeans, but I'm thinking I may need a few more, considering that I have about 5 1/2 months to go. I will say though, I am much more comfortable in maternity jeans and I am no longer squishing the baby.

I have just under a week left in Illinois and then it is back to Seattle for our next doctor's appointment where we will hopefully listen to the baby's heartbeat for the first time! Can't wait!

Pregnant and loving it....for the most part

2009-04-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

In learning from my dear friend Jessica (genius by the way) who recently had a baby, I have decided that the best way to keep everyone updated on the baby bakin' process is to start a blog. Hopefully that way you all can pass it along to anyone who wants the updates and I won't have to worry about forgetting anyone.

After 2 positive home pregnancy tests and confirmation from the doctor, the news of our twosome becoming a family of three began to sink in. We are beyond excited about becoming parents, however I did not anticipate the work that goes into pregnancy. I was symptomatic almost immediately with exhaustion, nausea and just about every other ailment that comes with the first trimester. Plus it doesn't help that everywhere you turn you have someone or some book telling you about all of the horrible things that can go wrong. The anxiety is something that no one seems to mention.

The excitement is definitely worth it though. Now that I am nearing the end of the first trimester and am starting to feel better, I am beginning to relax. We had our first ultrasound about a week ago and it was so thrilling to see the heart beating and our little jumping bean of a baby. Looking forward to all that is to come!